My Rule of Life

 It was last year that I was listening to a podcast, then reading a blog, later reading a book, and they all spoke about the necessity for Catholics to have a "Rule of Life" as if everyone had heard of it before. Well, I decided I got to get one of those immediately! After I browsed more online for the details, I realized it was something I've done many times in my life but this simply looked more complete. It encompasses all the aspects of my life, desires, plans and vocation at once, which makes so much sense now.

According to the Catholic Dictionary, a Religious Rule (rule of life for religious) is "The plan of life and discipline, approved by the Holy See, under which religious live in order to grow in Christian perfection and perform the works of the apostolate proper to their institute." Going back a century and a half ago, there is the most popular Rule of Saint Benedict written to bring order to the monk's habits and rhythms in their shared daily life.  A religious order's rule would include their charisms, order of the day, and responsibilities. I too have a vocation with such aspects, so there must be a rule for mothers. 

Holly Pierlot, author of A Mother's Rule of Life wrote "A Rule of Life is not just a schedule, not just a collection of activities organized into a set pattern for efficient repetition. A Rule is an organization of everything that has to do with your vocation, based on a hierarchy of the priorities that define the vocation and done with the intent to please God. It deals with the essential responsibilities of your state of life, organized to ensure their fulfillment…" 

Ah-ha! So what I had been doing was this in pieces, for separate purposes. I was checking off boxes when working on a personal goal like weight loss. Other times I was planning the ideal flow of our homeschool day. Sometimes I would write a list of tasks and priorities. I would journal about my spiritual goals. I love prioritized lists, especially since I'm a procrastinator. I also have many many piles and file folders in my home office. What can we busy mothers do to streamline this Rule of Life planning?

That's when I decided to create a "My Rule of Life" workbook, catered to my own vintage style. After some testing, the Catholic woman's My Rule of Life planner and self-tracker I designed for myself is now available to print.

Take notes of what you want your prayer and spiritual life to look like. Plan out the ideal week. Write down your commitments, personal goals, and the Saints you want to intercede for you. Think about your prayer intentions, including a memorial of souls who have gone before you. Track your progress of your goals and virtues. Take time to do a weekly examination of your life and how it aligns to God's will and your resolutions. Finally jot down any books you hope to read this month. 

No matter what your style, the details in the planning are mostly the same. It is important that is personal.  If you don't like the vintage look and want to design your own, or you have other items you want to cover, you can look at it for inspiration.  I think it most important that you take time to think these things over, no matter where you write it down.

Jenn Giles Kemper of Sacred Ordinary Days writes, "Allow your rule to develop slowly over time. Listen for God and realize that the unique expression of Christ in you, your family, and your church will look different than the expression of Christ in others. It can be helpful to remember that the kingdom is built by the whole of the church body, so you need only seek to be a faithful hand or foot. Ask God how to live your part faithfully. Consider inviting others into this exercise with you, such as a spouse, a spiritual director, or members of your community. Regard your rule as a living document—something you can review and adjust as you live it out." 

I think that's a fantastic perspective. Thanks Jenn! Now to go print a copy for my new year and see how God is calling me in my current phase of life. 

MY RULE OF LIFE planner is in my Etsy Shop as an INSTANT DOWNLOAD PDF FILE.

https://homegrowncatholics.etsy.com/listing/1662850263

In the file is a cover page, 14 worksheets, and the digital use policy. There is enough room for a month of tracking. Then you can reprint whatever pages you need to add on additional months. Staple together, or put in a binder as I have.

Plan out the ideal week. 

Write down your commitments, personal goals, and the Saints you want to intercede for you. 

Think about your prayer intentions, including a memorial of souls who have gone before you. 

Track your progress of your goals and virtues. 

Take time to do a weekly examination of your life and how it aligns to God's will and your resolutions.

Finally jot down any books you hope to read this month. 

Also included are 3 Prayer Posters and 1 set of 4 prayer cards.

MY RULE OF LIFE planner is in my Etsy Shop as an INSTANT DOWNLOAD PDF FILE.

https://homegrowncatholics.etsy.com/listing/1662850263

More Resources I found helpful on the subject:

Sacred Ordinary Days: Rule of Life (very through, with so many resource links)

A Mother's Rule of Life, a book by Holly Pierlot

Good Catholic: Making a Personal Rule of Life

Word on Fire: Creating a Rule of Life PDF Booklet

Need a Mom's Life Coach?

Catholic Mom Calm

The True Presence Course   {Her podcast about a Summer Rule of Life}

AS ALWAYS, I LIKE TO INCLUDE SOMETHING FREE if there is something for sale. So you can print this page by clicking on it and selecting print!

Joyful Mysteries

I've heard many times that Iconographers, those who paint or "write" religious icons, do so in a prayerful manner. It was also true for me as I prayerfully drew these Joyful Mysteries for children to color. My skillset is not strong in drawing people from my imagination. However, these images came so naturally from my hand. I found delight in every page, and my insight to this is that it is because these "characters" are as familiar as my own family. This Holy Family is my family. Their story is such an integral part of my very being. My hope is that they are also a part of your family's story.

While in the process, a theme popped up on its own which surprised me and those who've colored it so far. Each image has a dove that mirrors the story. See if you can find it!

These delightful images of The Joyful Mysteries are easy to print and color today! Wonderful for Advent and Christmastime, for reflection during a family rosary, or for a lesson. Just click on the link to my Etsy Shop for the download:

{Etsy Download: The Joyful Mysteries Coloring Pages}

The 11 page, digital PDF file includes images of The Annunciation, The Visitation, The Nativity (Christmas), The Presentation, and The Finding of Jesus. A few bonus pages in the file include a rosary guide and rosary coloring pages. 

OTHER POSTS ABOUT THE ROSARY

Praying the Rosary

Nurturing Relationships in Hospitality and Prayer

The Joyful Mysteries for Homeschoolers

{Etsy Download: The Joyful Mysteries Coloring Pages}

Nurturing Relationships in Hospitality and Prayer

 

"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near" (Heb 10:23-24, RSV). 

It is on my heart to share with you why, in a time of being told to distance ourselves, we should nurture our relationships with prayer and hospitality. I’d like to first touch on what our faith has to say about these things. Secondly, I’d like to share with you a wonderful way to put this into action: The Holy Family Prayer Cenacle. A prayer group with leader guide and prayer guides to make it easy to begin.

{LINK TO A PRINTABLE FILE - HOLY FAMILY CENACLE GUIDE}

ABOUT PRAYER & RELATIONSHIPS

“I used to pray that God would feed the hungry, or do this or that, but now I pray that he will guide me to do whatever I'm supposed to do, what I can do. I used to pray for answers, but now I'm praying for strength. I used to believe that prayer changes things, but now I know that prayer changes us and we change things.” - Saint (Mother) Teresa of Calcutta

Jesus came to teach us a great many things, including how to pray in love, in manner and in intentions.

“In praying, do not babble like the pagans, who think that they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them. Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”

“This is how you are to pray: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as in heaven. Give us today our daily bread; and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors; and do not subject us to the final test, but deliver us from the evil one. If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions.” Matthew 6:7-15 

The Our Father has been a treasured and most perfect prayer for all Christians. It’s more than a prayer to recite, but also a guide to the order of all prayer. It begins with praise and thanksgiving. It expresses hope in the eternal, and trusting in God each day. It encourages us to show mercy and seek forgiveness. It seeks protection from sinful temptations. Do you notice, it doesn’t include petitions, because they are fulfilled through a trust in God and protection from sin. The verse before states that God the Father already knows our needs before we ask them. Shortly after this verse he reiterates our need to trust and be free of anxieties.

^“Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they? Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span? Why are you anxious about clothes? Learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They do not work or spin. But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them. If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith? So do not worry and say, ‘What are we to eat?’ or ‘What are we to drink?’ or ‘What are we to wear?’ All these things the pagans seek. Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom [of God] and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides. Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil.” Matthew 6:26-34

“Pray, hope, and don't worry. Worry is useless. God is merciful and will hear your prayer.” ~ Saint Padre Pio of Pietrelcina

This is not to say that prayers of petition and requests for intercession are unnecessary. It’s the next part of the conversation, which we have as we form a relationship with God, and the communion of saints. Would you go to a stranger and tell them all your problems and desires? First you get to know each other. Do you know much about God? Have you been still and listened to him (Ps 46:10)? This relationship with God grows to be valued above all others, all things, all wants, all worries. Someone to lean on, but that He can turn back to rely on you. We let Him love us and we return that love.  It is a most precious friendship.

“For prayer is nothing else than being on terms of friendship with God.” ~ Saint (Mother) Teresa of Calcutta

When in friendship with Jesus, we learn to express our love and fidelity in a variety of ways.  There are different expressions of prayer:  thanksgiving, offering, contemplative, intercessory, petition, recitation, praise, adoration, and even in the stillness of our hearts our prayer continues. The Rosary is a combination of prayers and reflections that engage us in several expressions of prayer.

"A similar need for commitment and prayer arises in relation to another critical contemporary issue: the family, the primary cell of society, increasingly menaced by forces of disintegration on both the ideological and practical planes, so as to make us fear for the future of this fundamental and indispensable institution and, with it, for the future of society as a whole. The revival of the Rosary in Christian families, within the context of a broader pastoral ministry to the family, will be an effective aid to countering the devastating effects of this crisis typical of our age." St. Pope John Paul II, Rosarium Virginis Mariae 6

Everyone Can Help: Chore Charting

Priorities: Those things you need to do before anything else gets done.
Procrastinator: Someone who lets their priorities get put on the backburner, until the last minute arrives. Leaving them anxious.
Homeschooler: A person who's priorities are changed by the minute because LIFE HAPPENS. And they're okay with it.



There is so much going on here, I need to stay on task. I've revised our successful chore chart to be in order of daily to-dos.


CHORES INCLUDE:
Make Bed & Get Dressed
Eat Breakfast & Brush teeth
School Work & Reading
Playtime & Chores (listed by the day)
Homework Complete
Bedtime 8:30pm
Immediate Obedience
Mommy's Happy Helper










Daily Musts for Sanity and Sanitary needs:

• Sunday Service (Good Behavior at Mass)
• Monday Messes (Major toy cleanup)
• Tuesday Toilets (Bathroom cleanup)
• Wash it Wednesday (Wash Floors & Windows, after craft time)
• Thursday Trash (Get garbage out)
• Friday Folding (Laundry Day)
• Saturday Shoe Closet (Entry Way Cleaning)

REWARDS:
**Person with name on chart the most gets to pick the next Red Box movie for the weekend, or can opt for the $1 bill. [Mom & Dad not included, or we'd win every time!]
**Jelly Bean Jar - for "Bean Good" (being good).
*Everyone gets a treat for their efforts.
*If someone does their chores all week without being asked, reward them with a date night with mom or dad, a new Nook book, or something special.

A friend of mine also suggested FlyLady.com if you like email reminders and helpful hints. And of course there are many self help books on the subject.

UPDATE 2013:

Here is our current chart which includes chores and what we hope to accomplish each day. The children really like to look and see "who's responsible" for the dishes or laundry that day. It has become part of what we do, without reward. We teach eternal reward and give incentives along the way such as a family movie when the house is sparkling!

 

My To Do List

SAHMs are back in style!

from my ongoing Facebook discussion...

Being a stay at home mom (SAHM) [or Domestic Engineer - hehe] isn't as rare as you may think. It seems to be coming "back into style" from my experience. I'm amazed the criticism SAHMs and Homeschoolers get. I DARE them to spend 1 day in my shoes without bailing. It's a crazy, self-giving life and I wouldn't trade it for a million $ paycheck. We learn to live with less to have a better quality of life. I dare you to try it!

Those who work outside of the home have their own challenges and needs, but I personally wouldn't leave my young children in someone else's care unless we were stricken with poverty.

I've seen the village, and I don't want it raising my children!

I recommend reading "The Domestic Church: Room by Room." Chapter 4 discusses this exact thing. Who ever says that it is not a job, has never been a SAHM! A mothers work is worth more than a paycheck. Besides I get paid... in God's Graces, smiles, drawings, and some day grandchildren....for all my efforts!


From the book:

"A mother is the heart of her home when she is lovingly dedicating herself to her family... Any time that a mother deserts her children's care, she is opening wide the door to possible chaos and instability, and again - other people's values and morals - or lack there of - are thrust upon the innocent and impressionable children."

"Motherhood is filled with sacrifice, as we know, and one particular sacrifice is in putting one's own desires on hold for the betterment of the family."


This book is incredible as I read it along with my Catholic Women's Book Club, and I suggest it to you. It reiterates what I've been taught about motherhood, gives me confidence to continue my vocation, and gives me tips to make it a little easier.