It is on my heart to share with you why, in a time of being told to distance ourselves, we should nurture
our relationships with prayer and hospitality. I’d like to first touch on what our faith
has to say about these things. Secondly, I’d like to share with you a wonderful way to put this into action: The Holy Family Prayer Cenacle. A prayer group with leader guide and prayer guides to make it easy to begin.
{LINK TO A PRINTABLE FILE - HOLY FAMILY CENACLE GUIDE}
ABOUT PRAYER & RELATIONSHIPS
“I used to pray that God would feed the hungry, or do this or that, but now I pray that he will guide me to do whatever I'm supposed to do, what I can do. I used to pray for answers, but now I'm praying for strength. I used to believe that prayer changes things, but now I know that prayer changes us and we change things.” - Saint (Mother) Teresa of Calcutta
Jesus came to teach us a great many things, including how to pray in love, in manner and in intentions.
“In praying, do not babble like the pagans, who think that they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them. Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”
“This is how you are to pray: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as in heaven. Give us today our daily bread; and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors; and do not subject us to the final test, but deliver us from the evil one. If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions.” Matthew 6:7-15
The Our Father has been a treasured and most perfect prayer for all Christians. It’s more than a prayer to recite, but also a guide to the order of all prayer. It begins with praise and thanksgiving. It expresses hope in the eternal, and trusting in God each day. It encourages us to show mercy and seek forgiveness. It seeks protection from sinful temptations. Do you notice, it doesn’t include petitions, because they are fulfilled through a trust in God and protection from sin. The verse before states that God the Father already knows our needs before we ask them. Shortly after this verse he reiterates our need to trust and be free of anxieties.
“Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they? Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span? Why are you anxious about clothes? Learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They do not work or spin. But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them. If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith? So do not worry and say, ‘What are we to eat?’ or ‘What are we to drink?’ or ‘What are we to wear?’ All these things the pagans seek. Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom [of God] and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides. Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil.” Matthew 6:26-34
“Pray, hope, and don't worry. Worry is useless. God is merciful and will hear your prayer.” ~ Saint Padre Pio of Pietrelcina
This is not to say that prayers of petition and requests for intercession are unnecessary. It’s the next part of the conversation, which we have as we form a relationship with God, and the communion of saints. Would you go to a stranger and tell them all your problems and desires? First you get to know each other. Do you know much about God? Have you been still and listened to him (Ps 46:10)? This relationship with God grows to be valued above all others, all things, all wants, all worries. Someone to lean on, but that He can turn back to rely on you. We let Him love us and we return that love. It is a most precious friendship.
“For prayer is nothing else than being on terms of friendship with God.” ~ Saint (Mother) Teresa of Calcutta
When in friendship with Jesus, we learn to express our love and fidelity in a variety of ways. There are different expressions of prayer: thanksgiving, offering, contemplative, intercessory, petition, recitation, praise, adoration, and even in the stillness of our hearts our prayer continues. The Rosary is a combination of prayers and reflections that engage us in several expressions of prayer.
"A similar need for commitment and prayer arises in relation to another critical contemporary issue: the family, the primary cell of society, increasingly menaced by forces of disintegration on both the ideological and practical planes, so as to make us fear for the future of this fundamental and indispensable institution and, with it, for the future of society as a whole. The revival of the Rosary in Christian families, within the context of a broader pastoral ministry to the family, will be an effective aid to countering the devastating effects of this crisis typical of our age." St. Pope John Paul II, Rosarium Virginis Mariae 6
THE ROSARY
Oh My Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of Hell, lead all souls to Heaven, especially those in most need of Thy mercy. Amen.
Mary, the Mother of Jesus, our heavenly Mother, who appeared in Fatima, Lourdes and around the world, taught us this simple prayer and urged us to say it daily along with the Rosary. A Rosary comprised of the Apostles Creed as a statement of belief, the Our Father and Hail Mary prayers as laid out in scripture, the Glory Be in praise of God, and meditations on the life of Jesus. Mary comes to us, urging us to be fervent in prayer and fasting because she wants us to know her Son so intimately and to form a relationship with Him, as well as with others. It is in this prayerful petition that we request for hearts and minds to be opened to His mercy and love, and to desire it just as much for others.
In my memories I can still see the flames flicker in the blue votives my mom lit before we prayed our evening rosary. I was entranced by the flames, settled on my knees, and reciting the prayers over and again. We prayed in the candle light, and there were no other distractions. I didn’t understand the words, as I was little. Yet, I knew they were important by the manner in which we said them. The Our Father lifted my spirit as I recalled it was the same we prayed at Mass. The Hail Mary was like a song, and it transported me to the pilgrimages we took to Guadalupe and Medjugorje. The Hail Holy Queen was my favorite, because I was so proud I could recite such big words. I occasionally took my eyes off the votives to look up at my parents. They smiled back at me, and I imagine they were delighted to be able to teach me how to enter into prayer. And so began my beautiful relationship with God and the intercessions of the communion of saints.
Over time our innocence is lost and we are in need of God’s mercy. The prayers become a conversation more than a recitation. The best relationships are those that stay around despite our failings, forgive us always, loving us unconditionally and encourage us to be the best version of ourselves. How much more God loves us than our earthly friends! While we may go to our friends and family for advice, for encouragement, or other needs - God has proven to be the best adversary in our lives. Building upon that relationship through prayer should be an essential part of our existence, and I recommend the Rosary as a means to do so.
FRIENDSHIP
As we get older and have families to raise, the task of maintaining friendships comes with difficulty and sacrifice. When I was a new mom with a few children, I was very involved and met a lot of people. As I got older, we had more children, and it became challenging to keep up with everything - I sought out family/group activities that all of us could attend at once. The need for one on one connection is still there, even when most days I can barely get a moment to call my own. It is my friends that lift me up with encouraging words, smiles, and their kids who occupy mine. The anxiety of packing up everyone may cause me to hesitate some mornings, but once amongst friends, all that melts away and I feel the presence of Christ. We take turns leaning on one another, we laugh about our troubles, we shed tears in prayer, and God reminds us we're not alone.
“The inner life of another that is known to God alone becomes to a much less degree open to us through friendship. It partially fills the desire of our incomplete, lonely hearts for completeness in another. Friendship brings out the best in a person through forgetfulness of self.” ~ St. Thomas Aquinas
God commands us to “Love one another as I have loved you,” and scripture is overflowing with stories of friendship and neighbors (community). We should be mindful to have relationships with others like our relationship with God that are merciful and virtuous. Consider your friendships. Do they support you in your Christian journey? Do you feel comfortable sharing about your faith and trials as much as your joys? Does it foster mercy and love, or does it foster gossip and poor choices? Is there balanced conversation, or do they dominate it leaving you feeling like a doormat to brush off their problems? Choose wisely. And in a group where you cannot escape the difficult person, love them even more by listening well and praying with them and for them.
“Let us be loving and humble of heart toward all, but particularly those closest to us; let us walk together in peace, supporting one another, without giving way in time of trials, and never losing heart.” ~St. Francis de Sales
"Rejoice in hope, endure in affliction, persevere in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the holy ones, exercise hospitality." Romans 12:12-13
“She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.” Proverbs 31:27
“having a reputation for good works; if she has brought up children, if she has shown hospitality to strangers, if she has washed the saints' feet, if she has assisted those in distress, and if she has devoted herself to every good work.” [Brings honor to the widow] 1 Timothy 5:10
Christian hospitality receives a guest, whether it is planned and prepared for or not. Most women don't care about the cleanliness of your home, they care about the ability to be with you. We must have a humble heart that cares more for the people we welcome into our homes than the pride we have for the condition of our home. In hospitality, like a hospital or hospice, we meet the people where they are at with pleasantries and welcoming.
“Now as they were traveling along, He entered a village; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. She had a sister called Mary, who was seated at the Lord’s feet, listening to His word. But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, ‘Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.’ But the Lord answered and said to her, ‘Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.’” Luke 10:38-42
As we read in the story of Martha and Mary, Jesus does not dismiss the need for her to serve her guests. Rather he addresses her anxiety over the tasks, and draws her into realization that what is more important is the time they spend together. In this case, because Jesus knows his time is short. Sometimes our chances to be with someone also may be brief. This story reminds me how we have different "Love Languages" and Jesus shows us how we can be attentive to them. They are Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Physical Touch and Gifts. [You can read more about the "5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman {link}] [Check out my Love Languages based Catholic Couples Date Ideas & Devotions Cards in my Etsy Shop {link}]
I am always blessed by my friends, and how we can pull together a gathering, a potluck or a class - because “Many hands make light the load.” It’s not just ours to bear. While a guest may relax and enjoy being served, a good friend often will gladly offer a hand. If having my friends over for prayer and fellowship is going to give me stress and anxiety, than something is disordered. I should reexamine my intentions, priorities, and pride.
"Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God." Philippians 4:6
“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’” Matthew 25:40
A FAMILY PRAYER CENACLE
Sometime ago, my mother's friend began a
weekly gathering of friends in her home to pray the rosary, all 15 decades. It
bore much fruit in the community, including my own joy of seeing so many come
together to pray outside the church walls. Years passed, and sadly so did this
woman of God. A friend of mine who also attended, in recent years began a
weekly gathering of her own. Moms come to pray the rosary while the children go
off to play. A "Pray & Play." I was so inspired by it, I felt the
Blessed Mother urging me to begin my own. We live an hour away from her,
so I wanted to offer it to my local friends. After much prayer, I too opened up
my home once a month for Pray & Play, however we encourage all children to join us in praying the rosary.
"We must consider how to rouse one another to love and good works. We should not stay away from our assembly, as is the custom of some, but encourage one another, and this all the more as you see the day drawing near." Hebrews 10:24-25
A Pray & Play is a time to focus on prayer and others. While this may seem like a social event at first, humility allows the Holy Spirit to work through us for the needs of our guests. We find the women that need this encounter: commit to praying the rosary more often with their families; request prayers for the challenges they are facing; find deeper friendships; discuss joys and hardships of motherhood and Christian life; and come to take a break while the kids entertain themselves.
“… we have ventured to send word to you for the renewal of brotherhood and friendship, lest we become strangers to you; a long time has passed since you sent your message to us. We, on our part, have unceasingly remembered you in the sacrifices and prayers that we offer on our feasts and other appropriate days, as it is right and proper to remember brothers. We likewise rejoice in your renown.” 1 Maccabees 12:9-12
This is an opportunity to intercede for each other in prayers and sacrifices, as the communion of saints does for us (Rev 5:8). Coming together to be His hands and voice in the world to meet those needs of His people. Leaning on each other in times of difficulty.
“First of all, then, I ask that supplications, prayers, petitions, and thanksgivings be offered for everyone, for kings and for all in authority, that we may lead a quiet and tranquil life in all devotion and dignity. This is good and pleasing to God our savior, who wills everyone to be saved and to come to knowledge of the truth.” 1 Timothy 2:1-4
RESOURCES
There are plenty of Cenacle formats out there for adult prayer groups that focus on a book, but when there is a huge group of children at your feet and mothers constantly distracted, what do you focus on? Well, I've thought it all out for you! I present: The Holy Family Prayer Cenacle.
Who to invite? This Holy Family Cenacle (aka Pray & Play) has seen most interest among women and their children (all ages). We have had older women who's children are grown and gone, we've had husbands and priests join us, new moms, seasoned moms, homeschool moms... it's for your friends and their friends and their packed vans of children and teens. It's a beautiful, ever-changing flow each week of the women who need that time to pray and talk, and the children who now more than ever just need time to be kids and develop holy relationships.
What do you do? Our group meets weekly, Mondays from 9-11am. We get everyone settled together. Yes, whether two small families or twelve large families, we squish into the same room. Children benefit so much by praying with us. We pray 5 decades of one Mystery of the Rosary. Anyone is invited to lead one of the decades, or the host may choose to lead it all. Afterwards the children go off to play while the women/adults talk.
Sometimes, there may be a holiday or season that we have an activity for, such as a Valentine exchange, Advent craft, playdoh, Lego challenge, Mass Bingo {link}, etc. I have a lot on this blog to help you with ideas! In the warm months we send them outside. In the summer, we walk to a local playground for a picnic and extended play.
How does this become a Cenacle, and not just a Rosary Group?
I have created a simple list of prayers and reflections that give extra depth to your time together. A set of prayers you would always say, no matter who is hosting. A prayer and list of topics you can discuss at the start of your adult time. There is always plenty of time to discuss what is on the hearts and minds of mothers, as we all come full of conversation. However, I think it is beneficial to begin with a short focused discussion. This can be something on the guide, or something heaven has pressed upon your heart to share.
We meditate on the mysteries of the rosary, which are scriptural reflections on the life of Jesus Christ. As we lead the rosary, we introduce the fruit of the mystery. These are included in the Holy Family Rosary Cenacle Guide.
If you would like 8x10 posters of the Fruits of the Mysteries and all guides
visit my Etsy Shop listing {link}.
“Meditation is a Christian practice of prayer dating back to the early Church. As the Catechism states: ‘Meditation is above all a quest. The mind seeks to understand the why and how of the Christian life, in order to adhere and respond to what the Lord is asking.’ By meditating on the Gospels, holy icons, liturgical texts, spiritual writings, or ‘the great book of creation,’ we come to make our own that which is God's. ‘To the extent that we are humble and faithful, we discover in meditation the movements that stir the heart and we are able to discern them. It is a question of acting truthfully in order to come into the light: ‘Lord, what do you want me to do?’” (CCC 2705-2706).
The Joyful Mysteries
1. The Annunciation: Humility (Luke 1:26-38)
2. The Visitation: Charity (Luke 1:40-56)
3. The Nativity: Poverty, or detachment from the world (Luke 2:6-20)
4. The Presentation of Jesus: Purity of heart, obedience (Luke 2:21-39)
5. The Finding of Jesus in the Temple: Piety (Luke 2:41-51)
The Luminous Mysteries
1. The Baptism in the Jordan: Openness to the Holy Spirit (Matt 3:1-17)
2. The Wedding at Cana : To Jesus through Mary (John 2:1-11)
3. The Proclamation of the Kingdom : Repentance & Trust in God (John 3:1-5, Luke 18:16-30, Mark 4:11-33, Matt. 10:7-8, and more)
4. The Transfiguration Desire for Holiness (Matt. 17: 1-9)
5. The Institution of the Eucharist : Adoration (Matt. 26:19-30)
The Sorrowful Mysteries
1. The Agony in the Garden: Contrition for our sins (Matt. 26:36-46)
2. The Scourging at the Pillar: Mortification of our senses (Matt. 27:26)
3. The Crowning with Thorns: Interior mortification (Matt. 27:29)
4. The Carrying of the Cross: Patience under crosses (John 19:17)
5. The Crucifixion: That we may die to ourselves (Luke 23:33-46)
The Glorious Mysteries
1. The Resurrection: Conversion of heart (Luke 24:1-12)
2. The Ascension: A desire for heaven (Luke 24:50-51)
3. The Descent of the Holy Spirit: The Gifts of the Spirit (Acts 2:1-4)
4. The Assumption of Mary into Heaven: Devotion to Mary (Rev. 12)
5. The Coronation of our Blessed Mother: Eternal happiness (Rev. 12:1)
“Hail to you for ever, Virgin Mother of God, our unceasing joy, for to you do I turn again. . . . Hail, you treasure of the love of God. Hail, you fount of the Son’s love for man” ~St. Methodius (Oration on Simeon and Anna 14 [A.D. 305]).
This is our basement Family Room with rosary holder and mysteries of the rosary hanging up alongside this stunning drawing of Mary and Jesus. We often come here to pray as a family. We have a pile of foam kneeling pads so that we can enter into the meditation, especially the Sorrowful Mysteries, while on our knees. I personally like the extra thick ProPad kneelers in blue {link} but there are more economical versions {link} This is also the room we have our Catholic Teen Nights, something I hope to share about another time.
We have also offered a 3pm Pray & Play Chaplet on a Friday for those who couldn't do the Monday morning rosary. Something to consider for an end of the week get together. You are welcome to use this image for your invitation. I would recommend choosing passages from the Diary of St. Faustina {link} ahead of time to read and discuss after the children leave to play.
{LINK TO A PRINTABLE DIVINE MERCY CHAPLET GUIDE}
RECOMMENDED BOOKS FOR REFLECTIONS
*All are linked by clicking on the title of the book or group.
The Catholic Mom’s Prayer Companion by Lisa Hendey and Sarah Reinhard
A Mother’s Bouquet: Rosary Meditations for Moms by Sherry Boas
Courageous Love: A Bible Study on Holiness for Women by Stacy Mitch
Courageous Women: A Study on the Heroines of Biblical History by Stacy Mitch
Holiness for Housewives (and Other working Women) by Hubert Van Zeller (w/ study guide)
The Friendship Project: The Catholic Woman’s Guide to Making and Keeping Fabulous Faith-Filled Friends, by Michele Faehnle and Emily Jaminet (w/ study guide)
Divine Mercy for Moms: Sharing the Lessons of St. Faustina by Michele Faehnle and Emily Jaminet (includes 30 mini-reflections on motherhood with short quote, questions and a prayer)
Magnify: Pursuing virtue as a feminine genius by Kaylene Brown (a 90 day devotional)
Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World by Joanna Weaver (with 12 week study. Also avail a 10 week studyguide and DVD.)
Endow Women’s Study Group www.endowgroups.org
OTHER CENACLES OF PRAYER AND REFLECTION
Divine Mercy
Cenacle, Reflecting on messages from Jesus to St.
Maria Faustina Kowalska
https://www.thedivinemercy.org/eadm/cenacle/guidelines
Flame of Love Cenacle, Reflecting on messages from Jesus to Elizabeth Kindlemann
https://flameoflove.us/cenacles/
Marian Cenacle, with Marian Movement of Priests, Reflecting on messages from Our Lady to Fr Gobbi
https://mmp-usa.net/cenacle-of-prayer/
From Our Lady: “I ask that they open the doors of all their homes to me so that I may come in and take up my motherly dwelling among you.” (358d, July 23, 1987) “Above all, spread all about you family cenacles, which are desired by me as a remedy for the great evils which are today threatening the life of Christian families.” (392f, October 27, 1988) “If you all walk along the road which I have traced out for you, if you listen to and put into practice what I have said to you today, your families will be the first buds of my triumph: small, hidden, quiet buds, which are already sprouting in every part of the earth, as though to anticipate the new era and the new times which are even now at your doors.” (358s, July 23, 1987)
Some quotes came from the following resources:
http://www.usccb.org/prayer-and-worship/prayers-and-devotions/index.cfm
https://www.catholic.com/tract/the-intercession-of-the-saints
https://www.catholic.com/tract/the-rosary
Most links above are affiliated through Amazon Associates, who gives me a tiny reward for sharing them. By clicking the link you pay nothing extra, but get directed quickly to a suggested place to find the book or item. By choosing to use this link for purchasing, it gives me a small fund to support my time sharing these free resources. Thank you for your support.
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